Part of Globals mission as a company is to provide valuable information to hockey parents and players. Many of you attended our Showcases to be scouted, but one of our main goals is to make sure you have valuable information that can be used to help achieve your goals. This blog post focuses on keeping hockey fun for both the player and parent. Enjoy,and please read carefully!!!
IMPORTANT excerpts from the NEW BOOK
written by Vic LeMIRE & Brent Bradford
(Goaltenders are not TARGETS – Book 3)
[Due out summer of 2011]
Chapter 3 - The DREADED RIDE HOME!
With a combined 60 years of experiences of coaching, mentoring, and guiding hockey players, we have developed a very unique and valuable perspective of the special love and care that brings out the “best” in a hockey player! Unfortunately, during that same time span, we have also witnessed some of the most dreadful and unbearable parenting practices imaginable brought onto hard working hockey players.
WHICH ARE YOU? There are added pressures brought into a Hockey Parent/Child relationship. The pressures being described are NOT part of a family’s everyday growth pattern. Would you know what these pressures are? We hope to raise awareness and to create solutions for many parents/guardians who make terrible mistakes that cause psychological damage to your children. To be very truthful and blunt, some parents/guardians take all the FUN out of playing hockey for their kids!
Firstly, I give you the “location” … a PRISON, A place with locks and a straight jacket of seatbelts to ensure containment, virtually no method of escape. Yes, it’s the “Family Car”!!!
Young hockey players obtain their first taste of the terror usually on the way to their hockey game or practice in the Family Car. These players are exposed to many forceful commands and unreasonable demands right out of their own driveway before they have even stepped onto the ice!
Comments like:
a) “You better not be late on the ice for practice!” says one father…(This occurs even though the father arrived home late to pick his young hockey player up!)
b) “Remember, I am paying all this money for you to play hockey…so I better see you work extra hard out there!”
c) “You make sure that you do what I tell you in this game. Never mind what the coach says!”
These are just a few of the regular commands that are forced into the minds and hearts of young hockey players. There are many more abusive, one-way conversations that take place in this situation. Parents/Guardians have, what amounts to, a truly CAPTIVE AUDIENCE in the Family Car. Unfortunately, parents/guardians seem to take complete advantage of the situation!
Coming to the game after a hard day at work or at home, the Parent/Guardian release their frustrations with yelling and screaming in the stands. This is PARENTITIS. It is these same adults that cannot wait to get their young hockey player into the car to GRILL him/her all over again! (Hockey sounds so FUN to this point - doesn’t it!)
a) “Why is that other kid playing on YOUR line? He’s terrible!”
b) “You came off the ice after only 30 seconds … Why don’t you stay out there longer?”
c) “That coach of yours just really does not know how to coach properly!”
Tips for Parents/Guardians:
You are rightly justified to try to help your children develop the hockey skills necessary to compete successfully at high levels. You are also expected and qualified to keep the learning atmosphere completely healthy and enjoyable. It is sooooo much simpler to teach someone with honey than with vinegar. It is true; each child requires feedback and support (both educational and emotional...not to mention financial support is needed at all times!)
The EDUCATIONAL feedback of playing hockey is most often best left to hockey coaches. It is quite proper and beneficial for Coaches and Parents/Guardians to meet several times per season to discuss exactly what the projected teaching plan will be for a young hockey player.
•Make this a “Joint” effort!
•Develop a PERSONAL TEACHING PROGRAM designed by you and your coaches whereby you both agree to monitor, encourage, and reward each and every accomplishment that is completed successfully by your young hockey player.
•Have various attainable goals set ahead of time with realistic chances of success.
•Do not expect to see your child become the fastest skater after only a few practices!
Set up performance goals for each practice that will enhance a child’s skills by using BABY STEPS! This will produce such delight of accomplishment to the plyer that he/she just cannot wait to get out onto the ice again for the next practice. Honestly…this method WORKS for all hockey players from Little Squirts to NHL Professionals.
Now that you are in the car with your young child, it is most important to speak heavily of all their great improvements they recently accomplished! If necessary, WAIT until several hours have passed to bring up ANY problems or ideas about something that he/she should strive to improve on or to correct!
YES...areas of concern must be addressed. However, timing and tactical presentation can make all the difference in the world as to how your child receives your important information!
AN IMPORTANT POINT TO CONSIDER:
Have you ever noticed how EXCITED a player reacts when he/she observes a freeze frame snap-shot of him/herself in game action? It is never threatening...only breathtaking to see the gracefulness and special effort that is frozen in time…NO MISTAKES HERE…only great efforts and super memories!
A video tape, on the other hand, can illustrate a plethora of mistakes on almost every shift during a game - if that is what you want to point out, it can be easily done. Using the rewind button with slow motion just adds to the degradation of the moment! The proper way to TEACH at home using video tapes of a player’s performance, is to select at least four segments of GREAT PERFORMANCES to discuss before even trying to examine one segment of mistakes!
REMEMBER: Honey ATTRACTS MORE THAN Vinegar!
EMOTIONAL feedback is either (1) the glue that produces a lifetime of great memories and incredible FUN for your child’s life OR (2) the pain that causes them to RUN AWAY from the great sport of hockey turning them to areas of negativity, e.g., crime, immorality etc...!
Do you realise that it is impossible for someone to break into a neighbour’s home or to do drugs with a neighbour’s family members if he/she is ON THE ICE having FUN playing hockey!
Note to Parents/Guardians:
Here is a taste of reality we hope each hockey family seriously considers!
•How important is hockey in your family’s life – Really?
•Was it necessary to swear at your child because you were angry?
•Why throw a hockey stick across the dressing room because a mistake was made on the ice?
•Is your child’s respect important to you at all?
Children will do the math when they grow up. It will be done! They will ask themselves, How can any parent/guardian think that the most effective strategy in keeping hockey FUN is to swear and throw a disgraceful temper tantrum in the face of eight-, ten-, twelve-, and fifteen-year olds? Is it a power issue? Is it a bully situation? Is it because a parent/guardian could never perform as effectively as his/her child? Is this the way to deal with a child’s mistake? Are some parents/guardians living vicariously through their children?
The power a parent/guardian probably believes he/she has when swearing intensely at a young athlete WILL turn against them in a hurry. These types of situations will ALWAYS be remembered! A parent/guardian may think they will always have a child’s respect, as they grow older; chances are they WILL NOT have the respect from that child!
REMEMBER: Make sure your young hockey players know how pleased you are with their efforts. Explain to them that all the hard work they are doing will result in positive outcomes. The cold drink you provide them after a game is sooooo very refreshing to them! It is the same with any other refreshment you provide them. Tell them about all their GREAT efforts they displayed; they will become so hungry for more compliments and positive conversations – what a teachable moment you have the ability to create – reveal to your child the true reason for
playing hockey.
Parents, if you cannot provide a calm and positive atmosphere for your child when traveling to or from a hockey game, GET someone else to drive them to games and practices! Hockey players should be so very happy to jump into a car and explain to you how much FUN the game was...and to THANK YOU for driving them to the game!
Questions To Ponder:
•When was the last time your child thanked you for helping them play hockey?
•Has your child ever asked you not to attend any more games due to your embarrassing profanity in a sports environment surrounded by children?
•When was the last time you went outside and practiced alongside your child and gave him/her a high-five?
We pray this chapter hits home with those who really need to hear it! Have FUN and truly enjoy each other through the wonderful hockey years! They will go by fast...and you will WISH them back!
That is a
Bradford’s Goal Academy
and Coach Vic LeMire Guarantee!
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